Witty father....

A teenage guy's experience..... Witty father....


Took my elderly dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84).
 
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.  
 
I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.
 
The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green , red , orange , and blue .  
 
My dad kept staring at him.  
 
The teenager would look and find him staring every time.  
 
When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked:
 
'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'  
 
Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.  
 
And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:
  'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'    

Mr.X at his best.... Lolz....

Mr.X sat for an Entrance exam in Medical university, professor killed himself reading his answers....

Let's take a look at what he wrote there.... :)

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labour - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/ well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favour of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

(100% intended for harmless humour.) 

Love at first sight? Lol....

Can anybody define what is love is love at first sight?

I know it's really tough...

But I'm brave enough to show you the meaning....

Come on guys....

Let's scroll down....

Scroll down....

Scroll down....

Scroll down.....

Bit more please....

Don't be shy, bit more again....

This is it......... :)

Calling customer care?

Calling customer care is harder than anything....

Just take a look.....

(click the image to enlarge it)

Dear my ex girlfriend.

You took a piece of my heart,

When you said you couldn't stay.

I lived those following moments,

Thinking you'd come back one day.

When you left, what happened?

How come you made us dissappear.

We had some much love in us,

But you are no longer here.

Will we go back to how we were?

And walk down those roads again.

All those miles that we held on for,

Then you said we were at the end.

Tell me, do you ever think of me?

And still wonder if i'm holding on.

Do you regret walking away from us?

Now that our lasting love is gone.

From day to day, I think of you,

And often wonder how you are.

You'd be driving around by now,

Have you received your loved scooty?

Sometimes I wonder what if?

We hadn't ended when we had.

Would we be talking about marriage,

And reminiscing on things gone bad.

Well, I'm twenty now and i'm okay,

Although I have another lover near.

I still look for you in crowded rooms,

And remember that you're not here.

Just thought I might write to you now,

As there are somethings I want to say.

I know deep down that we wont talk again,

But it would've been 68th week after we started to love...

(Got in mail.... Altered a bit... )

Application Form For The "Upcoming Parliament Election"

(Application Form to Be Filled For Contesting Upcoming Parliament Election)




1.Name of Candidate: _____________________


2.Present Address:
(i.)Name of Jail: _____________________
(ii.)Cell Number: _____________________


3.Political Party: _____________________
*List ONLY the Last Five parties in Chronological (Order)


5.Nationality: [ ]
A- Sri Lankan
B- American


6.Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A- Defected
B- Expelled
C- Bought out
D- None of above
E- All of above


7.Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A- To make money
B- To escape court trial
C- To grossly misuse power
D- To serve the public
E- I have no clue
(If you choose "D", attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)


8.How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A- 1-2 yrs
B- 2-6yrs
C- 6-15yrs
D- 15+yrs


9.Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)


10.How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Do not confuse with question
A- 1-2 years
B- 2-6 years
C- 6-15 years
D- 15+years


11.Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A- Why not
B- Of Course
C- Definitely
D- I deny it all
E- I see a foreign hand.


12.What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A- 100-500 Crores
B- 500-1000 Crores
C- Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Rupees)


13. Do you have any developmental plans for Sri Lanka in mind? [ ]
A- No
B- No
C- No
D- No


14.Describe your achievements in space provided:
[_________]


Issued in public interest by Election Commission Sri Lanka.

Very official love letter...

To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. 

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)