Dear my ex girlfriend.

You took a piece of my heart,

When you said you couldn't stay.

I lived those following moments,

Thinking you'd come back one day.

When you left, what happened?

How come you made us dissappear.

We had some much love in us,

But you are no longer here.

Will we go back to how we were?

And walk down those roads again.

All those miles that we held on for,

Then you said we were at the end.

Tell me, do you ever think of me?

And still wonder if i'm holding on.

Do you regret walking away from us?

Now that our lasting love is gone.

From day to day, I think of you,

And often wonder how you are.

You'd be driving around by now,

Have you received your loved scooty?

Sometimes I wonder what if?

We hadn't ended when we had.

Would we be talking about marriage,

And reminiscing on things gone bad.

Well, I'm twenty now and i'm okay,

Although I have another lover near.

I still look for you in crowded rooms,

And remember that you're not here.

Just thought I might write to you now,

As there are somethings I want to say.

I know deep down that we wont talk again,

But it would've been 68th week after we started to love...

(Got in mail.... Altered a bit... )

Application Form For The "Upcoming Parliament Election"

(Application Form to Be Filled For Contesting Upcoming Parliament Election)




1.Name of Candidate: _____________________


2.Present Address:
(i.)Name of Jail: _____________________
(ii.)Cell Number: _____________________


3.Political Party: _____________________
*List ONLY the Last Five parties in Chronological (Order)


5.Nationality: [ ]
A- Sri Lankan
B- American


6.Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)
A- Defected
B- Expelled
C- Bought out
D- None of above
E- All of above


7.Reasons for contesting elections (circle one or more)
A- To make money
B- To escape court trial
C- To grossly misuse power
D- To serve the public
E- I have no clue
(If you choose "D", attach Certificate of Sanity from a Recognized Government Psychiatrist)


8.How many years of public service experience do you possess?
A- 1-2 yrs
B- 2-6yrs
C- 6-15yrs
D- 15+yrs


9.Give details of any criminal cases pending against you (Use as many Additional Sheets as you want)


10.How many years have you spent in Jail? [ ]
(Do not confuse with question
A- 1-2 years
B- 2-6 years
C- 6-15 years
D- 15+years


11.Are you involved in any financial scams? [ ]
A- Why not
B- Of Course
C- Definitely
D- I deny it all
E- I see a foreign hand.


12.What is your Annual Corruption Income? [ ]
A- 100-500 Crores
B- 500-1000 Crores
C- Overflow...
(Convert all your $ earning from Rupees)


13. Do you have any developmental plans for Sri Lanka in mind? [ ]
A- No
B- No
C- No
D- No


14.Describe your achievements in space provided:
[_________]


Issued in public interest by Election Commission Sri Lanka.

Very official love letter...

To
Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. 

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager)

High Level Insult....

Little Johnny Was Sitting On A Bench Eating Sweets One After Another.

Man Nearby:
People Who Eat So Many Sweets Dont Live Long.

Johnny:
My Grandpa Died When He Was 106 Years Old.

Man:
Did He Eat Many Sweets?

Johnny:
No, He Always Minded His Own Business!! ;-)


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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."

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Once a Cow, Elephant & a Donkey were debating on who is the greatest among the three.

So here the conversation goes...

Cow: I give 50 liters of milk every day and that’s why I’m the greatest.

Elephant: I lift loads of 100s of Kgs daily and that’s why I’m the greatest!!

Now it was Donkey’s turn.

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Hellooooooo!!!!!! What are you waiting for? It’s your turn to speak up. Speak up and prove that you’re the greatest.

Hahahahahaha... Hehehehehe... Hohohohohoho...

*************************************************************

My car...

Cho chweet.....

3 idiots? Nah, it's 3 old guys....

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.
"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

Wanna wear shorts or trouser?

How come momma?

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" 
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"




**********************************************


Five rules of girls

1: Love me but don’t touch me

2: Touch me but don’t kiss me

3:  Kiss me but don’t use me

4: Use me but don’t forget me

5: Forget me but don’t tell to anyone!


(Just for fun... :D )