Customercare in 2020...

Operator:  Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your...

Customer:  Hello, can I order...?

Operator:  Can I have your multipurpose card number first, Sir?

Customer:  It's eh..., hold.......... on...... 867456477546-788-46464

Operator:  OK... you're... Mr.K.Gopi and you're calling from No. 234, Kandy Road, Vavuniya. Your home number is 338675, your office 57545347 and your mobile is 78346346743648. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Customer:  Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator:  We are connected to the system Sir...

Customer:  May I order your Seafood Pizza...

Operator:  That's not a good idea Sir.

Customer:  How come?

Operator:  According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir.

Customer:  What? What do you recommend then?

Operator:  Try our Low Fat Onion Pizza. You'll like it.

Customer:  How do you know for sure?

Operator:  You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Onion Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir.

Customer:  OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?

Operator:  That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99.

Customer: Can I pay by! Credit card?

Operator:  I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $ 4067.33.
That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.

Customer:  I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator:  You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.

Customer:  Never mind just send the pizzas; I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator:  About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...

Customer:  What!

Operator:  According to the details in system, you own a Hero Honda, Splender, registration number NP ZZ 5768...

Customer:   ?

Operator:  Is there anything else Sir?

Customer:  Nothing.  By the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator:  We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.......

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator:  Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?

Customer: [Faints...